fat city...so it turns out I live in america's most unfit city, for the second year in a row. a couple of weeks ago the editors for men's health, the geniuses who bring you "killer abs in 10 days" and "make her beg for more", bestowed this title on my hometown. now everyone is making a big fuss about it. our simean mayor even invited jared fogle to town. the subway spokesman is supposed to encourage us to shed a few pounds and that tittle.
who cares what that mag says anyway? have you read this magazine? every issue is the same. everyone is walking around with a spare tire around their waist. and certainly nobody is begging for nothing.
the last thing we need is for everyone to go on a diet. it would wreck the city financially. houston has the most restaurants per capita. think of all the repercussions that would take place if all houstonians would skip a meal. the city cannot afford to be fit. restaurants would close down. cooks, waiters, hostess, valet drivers would all lose their jobs. supermarkets would shut down. and movie theaters would have to hike their prices.
gyms would be next to go. fat people love to join health clubs. they don't actually like to go, but they join like crazy. in fact, you can tell when a gym is succesfull...its empty.
there's only one thing I admire about jared. he's turned eating plain subway sandwiches (hold the mayo, no cheese, on wheat) into a career. his occupation: used to be fat.
I think bill cosby put it best "I remember the days before cholesterol you'd come home from the restaurant, and you'd be able to see through the brown paper bag. back then people died happy, with grease dripping out of their mouths"
well at least they are not taking about enron as much,
arthur andersen
