I wrote a hit play

meh

I purchased a port-a-cool unit for my tailgates. it arrived without a hitch from the factory and it is still sitting in the warehouse a full two weeks after receipt. the reason: everytime I turn that bitch on it smells like mouse piss. the rep gave me a vague explanation about the epoxy in the material making it smell like that momentarily. it would go away after a week. I've been running it from 8am to 5:30pm every day since and it still smells like rodent urine. sure it looks very regal, but how am I going to convince the chicks to hang out with me in cold air comfort when my tent is going to smell like a dragworm blanket?

perhaps I should invite matthew mcconaughey over. he is perhaps the only human alive that does not repel the ladies with his awful b.o. maybe he can whisper some tips to my port-a-cool that would yield similar results.

Posted by Stan at 3/29/2006 | Permalink

day number two

is in the books. maybe I'm finally learning the concept of moderation, but I don't feel overexerted at all, or perhaps it was that long soak in an epsom salt bath I took last night. yes, I'm secure enough in my sexually to admit to taking a bath, you homos.

Posted by Stan at 3/21/2006 | Permalink

new regimen

I quit going to the gym running the whole rita evacuation. becamse extremely busy with work and helping The Champions win the rose bowl and the natty. thus, the steaming pile of manmeat I once was is no longer.

last night I forced myself back to the gym. lots of new faces I saw. best new was being told that the pretentious boy with two last names for a name is gone.

so the date is june 12th. I hope to be back in shape by then. just in time for bikini season.

Posted by Stan at 3/21/2006 | Permalink

because I'm awesome

it's hard to believe but there are actually people who value my opinion, and they want to compensate me for it. don't want to sound too coined but I really "can't talk about it". I fuckin' sold out, soon I will have product sent to me for my creative input. and people said smoking cigars would never do me good, suckers.

also, I'm amazed at the strange human phenomenon of suddenly having the urge of contacting someone who you lost touch with when you can possibly benefit from the gravy train. my first deal went down on tuesday and this morning I got no less than 5 congratulatory emails from old friends that I haven't talked to in 4-5 years:


john forwarded me your plans. i think its amazing!! i shouldn't put it past you, but wow, you may have outdone yourself this time.

john forwarded me an e-mail outlining your plans. HOLY FUCKING COW, you are my new idol. you’ll have more trim than a vegas strip club during convention season.



I salute you sir

eh, note to self: john has a big mouth.

I kid.

Posted by Stan at 3/09/2006 | Permalink