my mother: the playa hatta
I was chatting with my cousin on the steps outside of my parents' bedroom the other night. she was telling me about the time my cousins took my crazy cousin to the whore house when he turned eighteen. anyway, we was having a good time, until my mom opened the door and poked her head out (curls and all) to give me the third degree:
'I just heard on the news that there is going to be a citywide warrant crackdown, the police are going to arrest people at home or at their work place if they have outstanding traffic citations'
my god, my eyes nearly stuck to the back of my head.
so anyway, yes there was a time when I neglected to pay my traffic tickets, and while they haven't kept me from getting a job, or from renewing and getting a new car policy my mom once saw this notice that came to the house when I was living in austin. and of course, she assumed that I must have had at least 10 more outstanding arrest warrants with my name on them that I was hiding from them. along with 2 illegitamite children, a 2 pack a day smoking habit, and a harem of females. none of these things were true...well maybe I was dating one or two girls at the same time for like a millisecond.
it is this constant paranoia that fuels her outbursts when I fuck up, well not even that...more like I a mistep.
it's all my fault though. I had my head so far up this bitch's ass for a while that I neglected a lot of my responsibilites, my friends and family, hell even my dog.. it's over now though. I refuse to let myself be so consumed by another skirt like that and let my mind fritter away like a hush puppy.
all this stress due to one measly parking ticket.
when I lived way off campus, I used to drive to school everyday. instead of paying 4 bucks and driving around aimlessly in the jester lot in hopes of finding an empty spot, I used to park at the state lot. shit, it was right across the street and had a ton of free spots that were begging to be sheltered from the blazing texas sun.
everything was cool until THE MAN decided to stick it to me one day. damn the man and fuck the poh-lice.
the ticket was only twenty bucks which is less than it would have been had I gotten a ticket on campus. even though the price of the ticket worked out to be less than actually having paid for parking on campus for a week, it still chapped my ass. so I tossed it away. it eventually escalated to a 160 dollar fine, 3 years later. I guess that's what I get for being a cheap bastard.
two weeks ago my parents got another notice so I had to scratch a check to the city of austin. hopefully that'll be the end of it. it seems like I've paid that citation 3 times . but I know that well after that ordeal has gone the way of the dinosaur my mom is still going to give me shit about it. that's just how moms are.
its not that I am lazy, its just that I don't give a fuck,
me
I was chatting with my cousin on the steps outside of my parents' bedroom the other night. she was telling me about the time my cousins took my crazy cousin to the whore house when he turned eighteen. anyway, we was having a good time, until my mom opened the door and poked her head out (curls and all) to give me the third degree:
'I just heard on the news that there is going to be a citywide warrant crackdown, the police are going to arrest people at home or at their work place if they have outstanding traffic citations'
my god, my eyes nearly stuck to the back of my head.
so anyway, yes there was a time when I neglected to pay my traffic tickets, and while they haven't kept me from getting a job, or from renewing and getting a new car policy my mom once saw this notice that came to the house when I was living in austin. and of course, she assumed that I must have had at least 10 more outstanding arrest warrants with my name on them that I was hiding from them. along with 2 illegitamite children, a 2 pack a day smoking habit, and a harem of females. none of these things were true...well maybe I was dating one or two girls at the same time for like a millisecond.
it is this constant paranoia that fuels her outbursts when I fuck up, well not even that...more like I a mistep.
it's all my fault though. I had my head so far up this bitch's ass for a while that I neglected a lot of my responsibilites, my friends and family, hell even my dog.. it's over now though. I refuse to let myself be so consumed by another skirt like that and let my mind fritter away like a hush puppy.
all this stress due to one measly parking ticket.
when I lived way off campus, I used to drive to school everyday. instead of paying 4 bucks and driving around aimlessly in the jester lot in hopes of finding an empty spot, I used to park at the state lot. shit, it was right across the street and had a ton of free spots that were begging to be sheltered from the blazing texas sun.
everything was cool until THE MAN decided to stick it to me one day. damn the man and fuck the poh-lice.
the ticket was only twenty bucks which is less than it would have been had I gotten a ticket on campus. even though the price of the ticket worked out to be less than actually having paid for parking on campus for a week, it still chapped my ass. so I tossed it away. it eventually escalated to a 160 dollar fine, 3 years later. I guess that's what I get for being a cheap bastard.
two weeks ago my parents got another notice so I had to scratch a check to the city of austin. hopefully that'll be the end of it. it seems like I've paid that citation 3 times . but I know that well after that ordeal has gone the way of the dinosaur my mom is still going to give me shit about it. that's just how moms are.
its not that I am lazy, its just that I don't give a fuck,
me
