I wrote a hit play

mtv's pimp my ride

the proliferation of shitty mtv shows continues. and "pimp my ride" definately doesn't disappoint. it has got to be the most ghetto show I have ever seen. they take some unfortunate loser with a pathetic ass car and change his/her life by making into an ass-ugly abomination. and when these losers see their revamped junkers, they act like they just realized they were holding a powerball winning ticket.

guess what, douchebag? that peace of junk daihatsu hi-jet is now blue, seventeen inch giovanni rims, a plasma screen in the back and a big ass spoiler. nevermind the fact that it still has the same shitty lawn mower engine and 250,000 miles on it. and nevermind the fact that you look like a huge dork driving that thing.

what I want to know is what happens when x to dah z to dah ibit leave and they have to park in front of their homes surrounded by crack houses?

hey mtv, if you are going to drop twenty large on me, I'd like the show to be called "pad my portfolio"

hollah at 'chur boy

Posted by Stan at 3/30/2004 | Permalink

zee germans!

german researches claim that sex makes you smarter.

oh the irony. it makes you smarter, but trying to score some tail makes you act stupid.

Posted by Stan at 3/30/2004 | Permalink

brilliant observation last night...

"expecting a guy to stop looking at porn after he's married is like asking a woman to give up shopping"

that being said, I'm glad I have cool chick friends who don't mind watching a good skin flick every once in a while. and they bring the beer over too.

Posted by Stan at 3/27/2004 | Permalink

what a weekend...

another one bites the dust. bone permenantly took himself out of the game this past friday by getting down on one knee and popping the million dollar question...she said "yes". so I have yet another wedding to attend in a couple of months.

I went out with one of my old college mates on saturday. we ended our whirlwind of a day at sherlock's, because ryan had heard that one of his old flames was there. I had to keep supplying a steady flow of beer and various spirits to keep him from looking for her. "trust me dude, be a zen master and bitches will come up to you". sure enough, my game of having no game paid off again. my lap was bombarded by a brisk, almost mischevious array of bitches and tramps. helps to have the waitress on your side.

my cell phone felt like the may pole during the may day dance, and you could say the same thing about my lighter. which was the belle of the ball. everyone, including the adjacent tables, wanted to spark up their cigs with it.

so I'm faced with a graffitti of numbers at this time...a couple of days might turn this into a novel. perhaps.

Posted by Stan at 3/16/2004 | Permalink

is my name he hate me?

seriously, this chick must have a serious king arthur's sword sized rod firmly embedded up her butt?

still wondering what I did wrong...oh fuck it. women are just psycho period.

good night,
rod smart

Posted by Stan at 3/11/2004 | Permalink

yeah well...

nothing too riveting to report about this weekend.

however, there could be an exciting, very happy and beautiful event "in the making", if you will. as drudge would say:

developing...

Posted by Stan at 3/08/2004 | Permalink

after a long and ardous search I was finally able to find the exact version of this song I like.

listening to:

"hasta siempre (mi comandante)" by carlos puebla.

Posted by Stan at 3/05/2004 | Permalink

gasp!

barry bonds took steroids. he's guilty, I've been saying it since day one. here's undeniable photographic proof.

barry bonds circa 1984:


barry bonds 2003:


yep, he's juiced.

Posted by Stan at 3/02/2004 | Permalink