playing with my money is like playing with my emotions....well not really. but s.s. pulled a fast one on me last sunday. she promised me that a certain girl, from a certain school in the SEC would meet us there (compaq classic). not so, but she knows me too well and used my weakness to get me moving. the attending parties got all ready, and we headed out to the english turn course. I swear we crossed a bridge over the mighty mississipuh that was taller than all the building in he downtown NOLA skylight. cajuns are some bridge building fools. once across the pond we we got led into this clandestine vip parking lot, that put us right at the 15th tee box. we watched jesper 'employer of hot
nannies' parnevik sink a par on 14th we begun our mad search for the accenture skybox on the 16th green. once we got two things we didn't need: more sun, and more alcohol. I was already burned to a crisp, but the blood pumping through my alcohol system was keeping me alive and kicking. after seeing the skinny swede, aka jesper, hole out again we decided to take in the tournament sights. we bought $5 worth of powerball tickets which afforded us the chance to spin this prize wheel. the funny thing, ryno kept spinning and winning junk, but he was so indesive that finally the poor lady in charge gave him a bag full of stuff. at one point s.s. bought a $5 stick of chapstik, talk about a rip off, I will never bitch about having to play 3 bucks for a beer again. at least a beer will get you drunk, what does a chapstik give you? pretty lips? yeah I like I need that.
right around 3pm we got done with all the sight seeing bullshit and headed to the skybox at the 18th green, were the big dogs hang out. somehow we got handed a pair of passes to the 'paradise tent'. which nate's and I starving asses quickly accepted. cracked open our program and found its location in relation to the 18th green, as we were making our way there two giant astroids came together. that of the greatness of the elk and I. it was a grand moment. nothing was said, we just traded glances...he knew what was up, and I 10-4'ed it. he caught my ut vibe, he knew the BMOC had made it down to nola and he was happy. we went on to birdie that hole, and I belive I had contributed to that.
after nate and I got our caBooze back on track and on to the 'Dise tent we were told lunch was over. so we did what we had done that whole weekend: just to have liquid meal consisting of all the major liquor groups. walking back to our chairs I happened to catch this milf in a spead eagle position, I totally got to look down the pipe. it was nice. unfortunately, when I sat down the table leg was smack dab in the way, and I didn't want to pull the 'giraffe' for fear of getting caught. it was short lived for she left 6 or 9 minutes after I had sat down. as usual, we got kicked out of there. no problem, back to the 18th we went.
the rest of the tournament was uneventful, kage choi won it wire to wire, an impressive feat. but the real action happened after the winning putt was sunk.
up at the 18th skybox, the greatness of will clark was pounding beers after beers. and after the tournament was over he reached in the beer cooler and proceeded to stuff them full of suds. funny shit. we went up and raided the smoked salmon and the sandwich ring they had. everyone cleared out and we were the last ones standing up there. this band started playing after the trophy was presented, the
bucktown all-stars, so we took all the beers there were left and stuffed them into our louisiana state lottery bag along with a bunch of ice. we late came to find out s.s's purse was in there as well, whoops.
we made it down by the stage, and at one point they started passing around a full bottle of cuervo gold. which everyone was afraid to touch. like stink on shit, we were soon all over that one. nate took the first swig, and I followed with a massive pounding. all was good until we passed it along to 'kyle' from southpark. again, ryno was already drunk of the beer and he had no clue was he was about to do. so he took a big gulp, tequila went in, food came out. I'm telling you this guy is a pro, he can puke on the run, standing, at a bar, shit anywhere. we got away from the spot and proceeded to watch the whole limbo line step on it. what nice like 'inside' joke, we couldn't stop laughing.
we left before the band stopped playing, for our drunkasses had to get back to drive home. but not before going to chruch mind you. miss debbie thought it was a good idea to stop at these people's house. some big dealership owner, but we turned it down for fear of making fools of ourselves. by this time, ryno was already in 'loud mouth mode'. she put us on a shuttle, and we were the only ones in it. the two drivers were not moving, and nathan and ryno were being asses to them, it was funny. we were also spreading the ol' "heeeey dooork!" love to the people walking by the short bus. this one kid flipped us off, and his dad smacked him upside the head. poor little guy. shitty story I know, hey I'm in a hurry and most of you keep bitchin' about new posts. everyone that was there knows stuff went on that I choose not to talk about, consider yourselves lucky. I'm in a hurry, gotta get shit done before I leave early for the 'stros game tonight.
"I'm going to have sex with the first girl on this bus I see when I turn around"
-- ???
lafferty, daniel
