7.26.2004

stuffing my pockets...

who needs to spend extra money for thick, super absorbent napkins when you can achieve the same effect with my fool-proof way.  I have the habit of wiping with wads of cheap napkins as if they were really just one big brawny supersuck napkin.  if you ever wonder why the napkin dispensers are always empty at your favorite eatery, assume I've just been there.

some people pilfer ketchup packets, others hot sauce...my MO is to stuff my pockets with napkins.

ba-ba-bad to the bone

Posted by Stan at 7/26/2004 |

7.21.2004

puss magnet

apparently I was the hit of the party this evening, according to my friend who put it together.  I have just been informed that her co-worker and this very sexy, in a studious way, yale grad 30-something inquired about my relationship status after I had left.  that indian girl was rather interesting, she approached me and we chatted for a good hour before I had to leave.  I think I remember her name, but I didn't get a number or an email.  oh well, if she's interested she'll find a way to reach me.

always leave them wanting more...isn't that a motherfucker?

Posted by Stan at 7/21/2004 |

7.14.2004

amazing race five

my favorite reality show is back...with a vengance. this time they have dispatched from all established reality casting formulas and threw them out the sixty-ninth window. gone are the angry gay contestants, the oppressed minority, the divorced couple trying to work things out, the overtly affectionate sibling and enter...the MIDGET! if you haven't seen it, do your self a favor and tune in next week.

of course they couldn't stray too far away from the tried and true formula. they had to loosely follow the establish standards and casted a pair of delicious looking girl twins. I'll be watching them closely, literally.

I'm convinced that the sole purpose of reality shows is to introduce america to fairly hot chicks who will get frustrated when their name drops out of the limelight and will go running to playboy to strip naked. it's the only reason these shows exist. and I'm fine with that.

Posted by Stan at 7/14/2004 |

7.11.2004

nick lachey is a cool motherfucker

...but he sucks at softball. he's a lot smaller than I imagined.

kenny mayne is a pimp, harold reynolds still has some wheels, and ozzie smith can still make magic with the glove. the currently miss usa is on fire.

I'm tired.

sincerely,
celebrity softballer

Posted by Stan at 7/11/2004 |

7.05.2004

life is hard in the ghetto

proof that my life is inching ever closer to a rap video: we saw this happen last night. after the fireworks were over we heard very distinct crackling, to which adrianne (bless her naive michigander heart) thought were blackcats, we informed her those were actual gunshots. we should have kept our mouths shut and continued to drink beers, which we did. she was a bit rattled after hearing that. after seeing the barrage of cop cars, ambulances, and the brief apprearance of the ghetto bird we drained an 18 pack between the four of us and headed back to sto's. and drank some more.

Posted by Stan at 7/05/2004 |