I wrote a hit play

confusing weekend...

why do chicks continue to get back together with their exes? it didn't work out the first time (in far too many cases, a second, third, fourth...) what makes them think things will be different? one of leigh's friends just got back together with her gay, out of the closet; full-blown homesexual, ex-"boy"friend. nathan mentioned this as he was driving to buy them breakfast this morning, you could laugh if you knew this limp wrist.

anyway, I have bigger and better questions to ponder than the dating rituals of a hippie. for instance: when shopping for records this afternoon I begun to wonder why the alphabet was arranged so. is it because of that song?

whoever wrote that song, wrote everything.

fuckin' brilliant.

Posted by Stan at 10/24/2004 | Permalink

a magnum 46 night...

damn you astros for breaking my heart. it's always "next year" with you guys...just like the horns.

diehard

Posted by Stan at 10/22/2004 | Permalink

mother of all tailgates...

so the cajuns are coming to austin this weekend. in fact, they are on the road as I type (maybe I should call and check on their progress). stacy is expecting us to lay out the china like they do in the SEC. boy is she going to be surprised at how we do. we are all about the beer, the chicks, more beer, and being hugetime in the custom made trailer sporting not one, but two, plasma tvs. we leave all that prissy shit wearing ties to football games, and girls wearing high heels, and sipping drinks from plastic cups to the SEC. I'm really looking forward to wearing my new fratacular shirt, and my new longhorn belt buckle. iced out, baby, iced out!

we're texas...sucks to be you, bitches

p.s. ian and adrianne are going to the jay-z + r. kelly concert tomorrow night here in houston, whilst I'm in austin. make my jiggaman t-shirt a medium, please.

Posted by Stan at 10/14/2004 | Permalink

shitty weekend for my teams...

texas gets nudified by ou
astros fail to drop the braves
texans...you get the idea

we suck

Posted by Stan at 10/10/2004 | Permalink

moochers

when traveling with cigars, I always make it a point to pack a couple of shitty sticks to give out to random moochers that inquire about a cigar I'm smoking. I used to give out nice cigars. but so-called "cigar smokers" never appreciated them. seeing a bunch of blank stares when you pulled out a fuente fuente opus x or a padron millenium got old fast. a true cigar smoker would pop an instant boner and the sight and smell of such a fine stick.

this past weekend, after the sleuing of gaylor I went back to our usual tailgate spot. I pulled out some magic cigars out of my cigar otterbox. I was instantly approached by four young lads.

leader of the pack: hey man! what are you smoking?
me: this is a cohiba robusto
lotp: a coheebah? yeah I had one of those in mexico, a maduro. ever tried one of those?
me: are you sure it was a cohiba, there is no such thing
lotp: yeah I bought it in cancun, it was a cuban
me: over 80% of "cuban" cigars in mexico are fakes, there is no such thing as a cohiba maduro. maduro is the name of a really dark wrapper, not a cigar.
lotp: it cost me $25, of course it was cuban.
me: this is a real one and it didn't cost that much.
lotp: shit! how many cigars you got in your box?
me: about 23
lotp: can you sell me some?
me: no, these aren't for sale...I'm giving these to my friend here. they are custom rolled
lotp: I'll give you 8 bucks for one
me: you are about forty short
lotp: how much did they cost?
me: if you have you ask, you can't afford them.

so many cigars and so little time to smoke 'em...sucks to be poor, bitches.

actually, I got some really crappy cigars I was given that I'll never smoke. I'm going to take them up to austin with me for the next home game and give these kids the tripple-dipped cream dream of their lives.

I'm out

Posted by Stan at 10/05/2004 | Permalink