I wrote a hit play

dallas has been rocked...

partying with a movie star...check
having alcohol confiscated...check
various run-ins with hotel security...check
having a puker...triple check
not being allowed into a club...check
ordering an obscene amount of room service...check

and this was just friday night. the real party was the following day -- and is DAY, not just the night.

sincerely,

ham and sando calrissian

Posted by Stan at 2/28/2006 | Permalink

fun with AIM...

I recently started signing back onto aim. lately, I've gotten a slew of random chat requests which lead me to believe someone must be writting my screen name all over truckstop bathroom stalls. however, I got a random one that I actually enjoyed. the chatter is my friend's dad, we are trying to figure out how he got my screen name.


him: [my screen name],how are things
stan: typical monday
him: what part of the country
stan: who are you?

I'm actually hoping it is a hot chick that is throwning herself at me, but we all know that the internet is rife with fat, lonely chicks

him: someone in New Orleans
stan: the chocolate city

the mention of nola peaks my attention, could it be this particularly hot girl I've been chasing... further analysis of the sn reveals that it is my friend's dad's name spelled backwards, bummer. no hot chick

him: except white chocolate
stan: are you [this nola girl I'm infatuated with]? because if you are, I think you are making a grave mistake and need to dump your boyfriend immediately
him: not sure bout [hot girl's initials] .What gives?
stan: moose, I thought you were going to help me out in conquering the heart of said filly

stan decides to mess a little with him. hoping he realizes who I am

him: you need help?
stan: it certainly makes things easier having a local working on my side
him: Anyone I know?
stan: yes, only the fairest maidden in the land -- aside from your wonderful and very married daughter -- ...[hot chick's name]

I guess that was too obvious of a clue, he's onto me...

him: staaaaan!

Posted by Stan at 2/15/2006 | Permalink

here's a some trivia for you...

men produce hundreds of millions of sperm per day

explains why I'm always tired....well, back to work.

Posted by Stan at 2/13/2006 | Permalink

my next suit will look like this...

Posted by Stan at 2/08/2006 | Permalink

itunes favorites...

"the dream of evan and chan" ben gibbard
"recycled air" ben gibbard
"fall at your feet" james blunt

Posted by Stan at 2/08/2006 | Permalink

I'll get you my pretty...

and your little dog, too!





finally, mm learned how to properly do the "hook 'em", looked like he was throwing up a gang sign before.

Posted by Stan at 2/08/2006 | Permalink

conversation that is a microcosm of my life...

so I was talking to a doctor friend of mine. he owns a clinic which recently started offering laser hair removal treatments. as he was explaining the procedure and how the laser works, I interrupted with the following:

"so given the time of the year, let's have a hypothetical scenario where I would actually have a girlfriend...would it be poor form of me to buy my pretend girlfriend some sessions for valentine's day?"

surprisingly enough, he has dudes walk in and precisely do that.

there is nothing more affectionate than being able to say, "happy valentine's day, baby. I bought you a bald pussy...for me."

Posted by Stan at 2/01/2006 | Permalink