another bachelor party in the books...you cannot expect me to compose a coherent string of thought, must less and entry. so I will do a bit of self-plagiarizing from an earlier email recap I composed:
I had no idea this trip was going to be so educational:
- you might be deemed too drunk to bungee jump for properly following directions. such skills earn you advancement in the modern work place, in padre it guarantees employment as a bungee jump screener or a hostess at amberjack's. moral of the story: next time you are asked to type your name to the waiting list and you notice that everyone else has done so in cursive or barely legible writting it would be best to keep that information to yourself.
- money is a language not yet mastered by the s. padre island locals. the hostesses at amberjack's must be speaking a totally different dialect.
- who knew that a tractor was not necessary to pull hoes. emulating "the power move" on the dance floor is infinitely more effective.
- my friends are the greatest; you can sucker them out of money on drunken bets and they'll still buy you burgers. twice.
- natro's skill to get ryan w. in trouble is uncanny, yes, even at 5:01am.
- asking waitresses "where's the whores at?" yields far more accurate information than asking a harlingen gas station attendant for directions to the island.
- the majority of tyler guys continue to suck. they'll invite mothers to drink the last of your beer, lead you on wild goose chases around the beach, and actually dispose of unopened beer cans when johnny law asks you to pour out the opened containers. houston guys (i.e. me) convince married/engaged girls to take shots off each other's bellies and to let their boob flop out.
- you can pocket $100 for convincing a cute chick to meet you at the ho-tel, but you'll still get banished to the pull out sofa.
- only an idiot overcome by the awesome force of brotherly love would kick out a passed out ryan w. from a twin bed instead of sleeping on a king sized mattress.
courtesy of natro:
Why are we the most popular dudes at Louie's?
"Because all the other dudes are just standing there and we're lighting 100 dollar bills on fire at the bar." - WG
