I'm in the dark hereee!I hadn’t had any lighting in the downstairs bathroom -- I hung a "women" sign on the door as a crafty deterrent since I know the people that work downstairs are all male -- for a few days and I assumed it was a burnt bulb. my hope that someone else in the building would call maintenance and complain so I wouldn’t have to didn’t seem to be coming true so I marched to home depot. that didn't solve the problem so I had to make the call myself. and of course I’m all “if it wouldn’t be too big a deal” and “i have a flashlight so it’s not like it’s an emergency or anything.” I hang up the phone upset at myself over my lack of assertiveness; it’s something I’m actively working on. promise.
the maintenance guy shows up and begins doing his standard checks. he visits the breaker panels. he taps on the new bulb I installed. then he starts checking the small space under the back stairs, why, I have no idea. when he gets to some box I hear him say, “ahhhh, look at this.”
I quickly feign both surprise and knowledge. “what in the? well, there ya go, that explains it,” meanwhile hoping he’ll elaborate.
“that’s the transformer. if that’s not plugged in you won’t get any light.”
wait a second. this thing is the single point of failure for my light, calls itself a transformer, and doesn’t even have the decency to turn into a robot or a car or anything?! he's just been given a long break from his lighting responsibilities and he just sat there when he could’ve been driving me to work, cleaning my bathroom, making me beefeater and tonics?!
“ah, the transformer. more than meets the eye.”
“a lot of people don’t know to check on it.”
“ha! idiots. but yeah, I guess it can be a little decepticon.”
“now that it’s replaced the light should come on.”
“autobotic.”
“you probably haven’t had light in that bathroom for a while. you’re lucky you’re young and strong. I can't even drive at night anymore.”
“I’m in the optimus prime of my life, my man!.
he packs up his shit and I walk him to the door. I send him off with a slap on the back.
“later megatron.”
“what?”
“eh, nothing. thanks a lot. I really appreciate it. take care, dude.”
“bye.”
